I watched Return of the Jedi again for the first time in about 20 years. I have some thoughts and questions:
- If R2-D2, an “R2” unit, goes around telling people that’s his name, does that mean there were only 260 R2 units ever made? From R2-A0 to R2-Z9?
- I feel like the aliens weren’t given enough thought.
- How do those bipedal, green-skinned hippo guards survive in Tatooine? Their drool alone would require its own Hoover Dam!
- What is the natural food source for a very large, immobile sarlacc nested in the middle of a big sand dune?
- What are the chances of a squid species eventually becoming bipedal?
- There must have been several hours of conference room meetings about how to portray Jabba’s place as super sleazy, but still retain a PG mpaa rating.
- How is being threatened to die by digestion over a thousand years a threat when your typical lifespan is <10% of that?
- R2-D2 was SELLING drinks aboard the sail barge. Jabba is a cheap bastard.
- Since Jabba is apparently also a sex slave trafficker, and he was killed by choking…did he find it pleasurable? I am not familiar with hutt anatomy and physiology.
- I believe we saw Jabba’s wife in Episode 1 at the pod races. Where is she in Episode 6? What does she think about Jabba’s bipedal, chained sex slaves?
- I am not attracted to hutts AT ALL, so why would Jabba be excited by humanoids?
- Luke is introduced as a jedi knight in the opening title crawl and at Jabba’s palace, but then he talks with Yoda and THEN realizes that he is finally going to be a Jedi Knight after facing Vader? Continuity problem?
- What real mom is Leia taking about? Another continuity problem, psychology snafu, or Mandela effect?
- If you ever think the Ewoks are adorable, just remember that they worshiped as a god the 3rd-most annoying character in the Star Wars universe. (The first goes without saying. I think the second is that Rizzo-the-rat-like creature that pecks out C3PO’s “eye” aboard Jabba’s sail barge. Wow, Threepio is a pansy.)
- Ewoks are boring. I am falling asleep.
- Sorry, no way the emperor survived that.
- Come to think of it, I am not familiar with the sex anatomy of Ewoks and Wookies. I presume their anatomical textbooks have multiple instances of prefixes beginning with “crypto” and “endo.”
- The music is the best thing about Star Wars.
- Bipedal is a fun word.