Godzilla 2014 and my Visceral Hatred of its Choices

WARNING: *Spoilers*

As I mentioned before, I saw Godzilla (2014) in 3D with my son in the movie theater. At the time, I was disappointed with the story choices they made regarding killing the father off early on.

I saw the movie again on BluRay with the entire family, and I felt felt a strong, visceral hatred of the storyline- made worse by the fact that everyone was board. My girls fell asleep. My son was on the laptop Googling Minecraft stuff. My wife was into the movie at the start, but after the Hawaii sequence (the one right after he dies), she started shopping on her phone! I had to tell her to look up every once in a while so that she wouldn’t miss a nice shot, like when the son jumps out of the airplane or when Godzilla opens the mouth of the female monster and breathes fire into her. (“Why didn’t he just do that at the beginning instead of destroying the city,” she said.)

I just wasted my family’s entire evening! It was a gigantic waste of potential in exploring the divide between a father and son after the death of the wife/mother as well as the decisions military commanders and scientists make. After the father dies, I no longer care about the human story and keep looking at my watch waiting for the monsters to fight so we can get this movie over with.

I will propose ways the story could have kept me entertained, but first let me go beyond my visceral response and repeat and expound logically about the flaws in the story of Godzilla (2014):

…the Godzilla movie left me emotionally unsatisfied for 3 reasons:

  1. I thought the movie was about the father, but then they take a turn, and I guess we follow the son the rest of the movie even though the father had all the emotion in the first act.
  2. Everyone knows you don’t kill the mentor until the end of the second act.  If the father isn’t going to play the hero, then I guess he is the mentor.  They kill the father in the early second act.
  3. Fine, you kill the father early on, but you’re not going to let us see any catharsis with the father and son? Seriously, the closing image should have been the son at the father’s grave or something. Emotionally I want to see the son reconcile with his father.

Further, killing the father eliminated the only character I cared about. He’s the only character the story explored, and they don’t even reference him at all the rest of the film! His death meant nothing to anyone, not even his own son as far as we can tell.

The son is just a punk who barely says anything. He’s too quiet. Sure, he’s got a wife and kid and just came back from the Sand Box, but big deal. Why should I care about him when I just watched his father close the blast door on his mother.

Also, the filmmakers missed a great promotional opportunity with Dr. Ishiro Serizawa, played by Ken Watanabe. In every scene, he should have been carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels (or whatever brand of alcohol that would pay the most to be in the film). That’s the best way to explain his character’s broodiness.

The Problem with Godzilla (2014)

I took my son to see Godzilla in 3D on opening night. It was great that we shared the experience, but the Godzilla movie left me emotionally unsatisfied for 3 reasons:

(Spoilers ahead)

 

  1. I thought the movie was about the father, but then they take a turn, and I guess we follow the son the rest of the movie even though the father had all the emotion in the first act.
  2. Everyone knows you don’t kill the mentor until the end of the second act.  If the father isn’t going to play the hero, then I guess he is the mentor.  They kill the father in the early second act.
  3. Fine, you kill the father early on, but you’re not going to let us see any catharsis with the father and son? Seriously, the closing image should have been the son at the father’s grave or something. Emotionally I want to see the son reconcile with his father.

Anyway, other than not being emotionally satisfying, Godzilla 2014 was…fine.

Why Does the Post Office Want to Search My Car?

I went to a post office that I don’t normally frequent and was met at the parking lot entrance with this sign:

USPS Can Search You!
USPS Can Search You!

For those of you who can’t see the above picture, the sign says:

VEHICLES AND THEIR
CONTENTS ARE SUBJECT
TO INSPECTION WHEN
ENTERING, LEAVING, OR
WHILE PARKED WITHIN
THIS RESTRICTED AREA.
ENTERING INTO THIS AREA
CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO
THE INSPECTION
(39 C.F.R. PART 232.1(B)(2)

And it’s not like this was some special parking lot out back. This is the front parking lot that everyone who uses the post office would enter. So here is my question: Why? Even if this is entirely legal…why? I don’t think it’s right.

When did this happen? Why didn’t the media get all over this?

When is it going to stop?

Napoleon Dynamite Goes to Mutual

We made a movie for a church talent show activity. I think it’s funny.

Make sure you watch past the closing credits for a bonus.

In case you are wondering, I wrote the script in Celtx, filmed with my 9 year old Sony Digital8 camcorder (hence the not-so-great sound), and edited it with Corel Video Studio X2.

Jokes That Don’t Translate Well

Sometimes jokes don’t make sense unless you know the local customs and/or language. Here are three jokes that come to mind:
Guatemala:

  • A mother sends her son to the tienda down the street to get some tortillas. At the tienda the T.V. is playing the Miss America Pageant. When the boy returns home he says, “Mommy, Mommy! At the tienda I saw on the television Miss California, Miss Arizona, and Miss Oregon!”
    His mom replies, “And mis tortillas?”
    “Uh, no, her I didn’t see.”
    [When you say “Miss” and “mis” pronounce is like meece.]
  • A motorist gets pulled over by the police. The officer asks the man, “Can I see your drivers license?”
    “Would you believe it, officer?” said the man. “I left my license in my other pants.”
    “Okay, then. How about your vehicle registration,” asked the policeman.
    “Would you believe it, officer, I left that in my other pants as well.”
    “Ohhhh!” Exclaimed the policeman. “And don’t tell me that you left your billfold in your other pants too!”
    [You have to bribe the police to avoid going to jail for made up violations.]


Canada:

Q: What do you call a traffic jam on the reservation?
A: A blood clot!
[They’re called Blood Reserves up there.]

Favorite Summer Grilling Recipe

I’ll go a little off topic today. In the summer I like to grill as often as possible. I thought I would share my favorite grilled chicken recipe:

Use frozen chicken breast and marinate for 4-5 hours at room temperature in a Ziplock bag using McCormick’s Grill Mates Southwest Marinade.
Grill on low heat for about 10-15 minutes per side.
Near the end, apply Kraft’s Honey Barbecue Sauce and then previously cooked bacon (or deli-sliced hickory smoked ham will do if you don’t have the time to fry up the bacon).
After another minute, apply Tillamook or Cache Valley colby jack cheese on the top, let melt, and then serve.

Voila’. Bon Appetit.

It’s similar to something I’ve had at Chili’s.