Archive for the ‘Optoblog’ Category

Godzilla 2014 and my Visceral Hatred of its Choices

David Langford on May 2nd, 2018 under Asides, Optoblog, Reviews •  No Comments

WARNING: *Spoilers* As I mentioned before, I saw Godzilla (2014) in 3D with my son in the movie theater. At the time, I was disappointed with the story choices they made regarding killing the father off early on. I saw the movie again on BluRay with the entire family, and I felt felt a strong, […]

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@ the Optotrician: actual eye doctor

David Langford on December 12th, 2017 under @ the Optotrician, Optoblog •  No Comments

Back when I worked at Walmart, I overheard the following conversation: A guy wants to buy contacts but doesn’t have his Rx on him and his doctor is in another state. Walmart optician explains the Rx can be faxed to us since we need the written Rx and not just the contact boxes. Optician: Was […]

Optoblog Poetry #006

David Langford on December 12th, 2017 under Optoblog, Poetry •  No Comments

Opt School or a house? Electricians make more cash. Too late to drive truck? As a mid-career optometrist still 20 years from any kind of retirement, I often wonder if I made the right decision. I’ve had to do some electrical work on my 1960 house (because that’s the kind of house an optometrist can […]

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optoblog movie short #001: The Air Puff

David Langford on March 24th, 2015 under Optoblog, Scripts •  No Comments

Title: The Air Puff Author: David J. Langford Contact: editor@optoblog.com Fade in. INT. – OPTOMETRIST PRE-TEST ROOM – DAY DR. LANGFORD, an optometrist that smiles like a clown, tosses his clipboard on the adjustable table behind three items of ophthalmic instruments. He lowers the table as JANAE, pretty and wholesome, sits down on the stool […]

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Fun Fact #001

David Langford on January 8th, 2015 under Asides, Optoblog •  No Comments

The phrase “apple of thine eye” is really a mistranslation. We should be saying “Little Man of the Eye” or “Little Doll of the eye.” If you are the little man in God’s eye that means He is watching over you so closely that whoever looks at His eyes will see you in His cornea’s […]

How Movies Would End if Written by Utahns #002

David Langford on March 8th, 2014 under Optoblog •  No Comments

EXT. CITY STREET – DAY Our plain-clothes, police action hero, DOYLE, stands in the street, arms outstretched. A 1971 PONTIAC LEMANS screeches to a halt, barely missing him. Doyle pulls a gun and muzzles the driver. DOYLE Get out of the car! The DRIVER acts like he is about to unbuckle his seat belt, but […]

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How Movies Would End if Written by Utahns #001

David Langford on December 20th, 2013 under Optoblog •  No Comments

EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY – DAY KURT RUSSELL and KATHLEEN QUINLAN look blankly at the engine of their Jeep Grand Cherokee. A TRACKER TRAILER pulls over, kicking up dust in their faces. A seeming normal-looking JOE hops out. JOE Looks like yer broken down. Why don’t the missus ride with me in ta town. You, feller, […]

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Brian Regan Performing at Arena February 2014 in Salt Lake City

David Langford on September 5th, 2013 under Optoblog •  No Comments

After my prior post, you might be reading this website to keep up with all things Brian Regan. You will be excited to find out that you can buy tickets to his show in Salt Lake City on Feb. 28, 2014 at Energy Solutions Arena, where the Utah Jazz play. An e-mail announcing a pre-sale […]

@optotrician: This is Safe, Right?

David Langford on May 30th, 2013 under @ the Optotrician, Optoblog •  No Comments

I was halfway done administrating non-contact tonometry (a.k.a. air puff test) when a 30-something man asked, “This is safe, right?” To which I replied, “Well, yah. A small percentage of people could faint, but…pretty safe.” To be fair, I have never had anyone faint after the air puff, but I have had two different men […]

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@optotrician: Time for an Eye Exam

David Langford on April 26th, 2013 under @ the Optotrician, Optoblog •  No Comments

Our Walmart Vision Center has a life-size poster of a tough-looking beared guy from Duck Dynasty. Someone thought it would be fun to put a Walmart name tag with the name “Willie” on it. It’s strange having Willie in the optical because you see him out of the corner of your eye and you instinctively […]

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